Dear Doris, 
I love receiving a real letter, handwritten on paper, addressed to me. They are such a delight compared to the mountain of emails I receive into my inbox each day. But the joy of receiving such letters when I am in the office is being spoilt by Maurice who delivers them.
I have been working for my company for 20 years and I think that Maurice has been there twice as long. When I first joined the company as an 18-year-old school leaver, he used to have this repulsive habit of licking his thumb and shoving it in my ear. Apparently, this was office banter, but it has always made me cautious of him. More recently, he delivers my precious mail and then chooses to take his break whilst eating an egg sandwich at the hot desk next to me. How do I deal with Maurice’s anti-social behaviour?
Dear reader,
What a joy to receive handwritten letters. Lucky you!
What you need to do is this: Next time you see Maurice, ask him if you can have a word with him, Be prepared for his face to light up like a Christmas tree because he’s not going to be expecting the conversation, but you must stand your ground. Tell him directly that you would rather he sits somewhere else during his break as the smell of egg sandwiches triggers bad memories from your childhood.
With regards to his historical habit of sticking fingers in your ears. If possible, I would advise going back in time and telling him that it’s unhygienic and utterly repulsive and that he is an incorrigible individual. But sadly, time travel isn’t an option, best let that one go!
All the best love.